Follow me here Filo down under: My Glory Box
28 August 2010
25 July 2010
"So, what's for dinner?"
I used to scream silently when I hear that question from the hubby.
Once upon a time, this FAQ made me want to run for the door. Unlike some lucky people, I do not have househelp to prepare dinner at the end of a busy day at work.
As a mother, I juggle a career and a family life. I have to think about kid stuff such as schooling, out-of-school activities, play dates, and lunch boxes. Then, there is running a household which is broad ranging from house upkeep to holiday planning, from weekend activities to laundry management, and so on. As an "event manager", I often think that our life will stop if I do not make things happen. That is all good if one is a stay-at-home wife. For a working mother, this can be distressful depending on the phases of the moon. I wished that I worked as a receptionist or a telephone operator so I did not have the additional strain of work stress.
One day, I decided that "something has got to give". Give, I did. Who made these rules anyway? I sat down with the hubby and showed him the long list of my to-do's. Well, I didn't really have a list nor did we really sit down. The hubby listened; he had no choice. He resolved to help me out of my rut. I realised that all I had to do was ask.
One of the hubby's strengths is cooking. So he became the primary chef in the kitchen. He is also good with lists, hence he also took over the grocery list. I still have to do the shopping though as he is hopeless in keeping the grocery bill low. My friends tease me that I never cook anymore. I just smile serenely. Of course I still cook. I do "invention" dishes when the hubby's prepared dishes run out. And yes, this new arrangement eased my strain tremendously.
These days I am still asked, "So, what's for dinner?"
But this time, I think, the hubby means "Which of the three dishes I cooked are we eating tonight? The pasta bake, the adobo, or the claypot chicken?" He still gives me the power to call the shots. Bless him. On good days, I relish making these "executive decisions". On bad days? A decision is still a decision. I still scream in my head!
Once upon a time, this FAQ made me want to run for the door. Unlike some lucky people, I do not have househelp to prepare dinner at the end of a busy day at work.
As a mother, I juggle a career and a family life. I have to think about kid stuff such as schooling, out-of-school activities, play dates, and lunch boxes. Then, there is running a household which is broad ranging from house upkeep to holiday planning, from weekend activities to laundry management, and so on. As an "event manager", I often think that our life will stop if I do not make things happen. That is all good if one is a stay-at-home wife. For a working mother, this can be distressful depending on the phases of the moon. I wished that I worked as a receptionist or a telephone operator so I did not have the additional strain of work stress.
One day, I decided that "something has got to give". Give, I did. Who made these rules anyway? I sat down with the hubby and showed him the long list of my to-do's. Well, I didn't really have a list nor did we really sit down. The hubby listened; he had no choice. He resolved to help me out of my rut. I realised that all I had to do was ask.
One of the hubby's strengths is cooking. So he became the primary chef in the kitchen. He is also good with lists, hence he also took over the grocery list. I still have to do the shopping though as he is hopeless in keeping the grocery bill low. My friends tease me that I never cook anymore. I just smile serenely. Of course I still cook. I do "invention" dishes when the hubby's prepared dishes run out. And yes, this new arrangement eased my strain tremendously.
These days I am still asked, "So, what's for dinner?"
But this time, I think, the hubby means "Which of the three dishes I cooked are we eating tonight? The pasta bake, the adobo, or the claypot chicken?" He still gives me the power to call the shots. Bless him. On good days, I relish making these "executive decisions". On bad days? A decision is still a decision. I still scream in my head!
11 July 2010
The female bond
(My other playful title was "Why do females flock to the bathroom at the same time?")
Last year, my girlfriends and I organised an amazing night for a girlfriend who was about to tie the knot. We stayed overnight at a hotel in the city and whiled the night away in a cruise ship with "Studs Afloat". We dined, danced, giggled and swapped tales. We were teenagers once again.
This year, the last single girlfriend is about to wed. What could possibly top last year's Hens' Night? We searched the internet high and low. We planned, we held secret meetings, we voted and we saved. It was five months in the making. For a moment there, I thought we were never going to find an event that will surpass shirtless waiters.
Then we stumbled upon "The Artful Hen".
We were not disappointed. Suffice it to say, it was tasteful and it was a night that will remain forever etched in our memories.
But what makes these small getaways special to me is about being with my female friends. Something magical happens when we are together. For me, it is a release from my daily grind of being a wife and a mother (yes, it can take its toll, to be honest). We dress up and we disappear into the night. We stay up late and we sleep in. These are things that I never get to do anymore. It's about sharing my intimate thoughts with no fear of being judged. It's a true getaway of the mind and body. It's like someone restarted my processors, giving me fresh energy to go back to my family with renewed vigour. The ideas that we bounce off each other are exhilarating. We all go home to our husbands revitalised.
I have multiple circles of beautiful people around me. I have mum-friends, friends with no kids, single friends, work friends, life friends from college and from previous jobs. Thanks to Facebook, I also found long lost friends and have renewed ties with them.
Each of my female friend is important in their own little way. Every relationship is unique and has its own level and space to feed a particular need. For example, I can only truly share my issues about my special needs son to another special needs mum!
My children define me; my husband completes me; and my female friends? Well ... they fuel me!
03 July 2010
"So, how was your weekend?"
This is my own take of "the Aussie way of life".
"So, how was your weekend?"
This question used to throw me off-kilter. I thought, "Do you really want to hear that I had a lousy weekend?"
My family relocated to Australia in 2000. At that time, when my workmates asked me this simple question on Mondays, I was truly puzzled. In my mind, I went "This question is very personal. Why do they want to know? If I say that I did nothing, they will think how boring my life is. But it is not boring at all, just un-exciting. Do they seriously want to know? Shall I tell them how I vacuumed and cleaned my carpet? Well, I better start doing things on weekends so I will appear exciting!"
I started dreading this question. I felt pressured to come up with exciting weekend stories.
Later, it dawned on me that this simple question is the equivalent of our "Kumusta na?" or "Hello". However, Aussies go beyond the simple "How are you?". They genuinely like to hear what transpired over your weekend. They like to listen, and they also want to share their own stories. It goes beyond the niceties of "talking about the weather". Which by the way, is a great conversation starter.
It is amazing how there is so much to talk about the weather. Back in the Philippines, there is only hot and rain and the occasional flooding. Not particularly interesting to talk about. But when you live in a country with four seasons, "weather-talk" establishes a safe and common ground and it builds rapport. Everybody knows what the weather is like so there is instant camaraderie.
I also noticed how Aussies tend to use big words to describe pedestrian things. Words such as "awesome", "beautiful" and "excellent" are commonly used to add color and dimension. The word "lovely" is not limited to describing a pretty girl. It can be used to describe "a lovely weekend". On the other hand, we Filipinos, tend to use precise words and downplay our happenings.
So the next time someone asked you "How was your weekend?" or "So, how was your holiday?"
Without missing a beat, respond quickly, "Oh I spent the weekend tidying up my kitchen. I can't believe I have so much expired stuff inside my pantry! I drove the kids to soccer Saturday morning. And by golly, was it freezing!"
Put a spin to it. Use big words. Paint a lovely picture! Notice that I said virtually nothing personal. Yet I came across as one who had a blast!
Don't get me started on responding to "How's life?"
"So, how was your weekend?"
This question used to throw me off-kilter. I thought, "Do you really want to hear that I had a lousy weekend?"
My family relocated to Australia in 2000. At that time, when my workmates asked me this simple question on Mondays, I was truly puzzled. In my mind, I went "This question is very personal. Why do they want to know? If I say that I did nothing, they will think how boring my life is. But it is not boring at all, just un-exciting. Do they seriously want to know? Shall I tell them how I vacuumed and cleaned my carpet? Well, I better start doing things on weekends so I will appear exciting!"
I started dreading this question. I felt pressured to come up with exciting weekend stories.
Later, it dawned on me that this simple question is the equivalent of our "Kumusta na?" or "Hello". However, Aussies go beyond the simple "How are you?". They genuinely like to hear what transpired over your weekend. They like to listen, and they also want to share their own stories. It goes beyond the niceties of "talking about the weather". Which by the way, is a great conversation starter.
It is amazing how there is so much to talk about the weather. Back in the Philippines, there is only hot and rain and the occasional flooding. Not particularly interesting to talk about. But when you live in a country with four seasons, "weather-talk" establishes a safe and common ground and it builds rapport. Everybody knows what the weather is like so there is instant camaraderie.
I also noticed how Aussies tend to use big words to describe pedestrian things. Words such as "awesome", "beautiful" and "excellent" are commonly used to add color and dimension. The word "lovely" is not limited to describing a pretty girl. It can be used to describe "a lovely weekend". On the other hand, we Filipinos, tend to use precise words and downplay our happenings.
So the next time someone asked you "How was your weekend?" or "So, how was your holiday?"
Without missing a beat, respond quickly, "Oh I spent the weekend tidying up my kitchen. I can't believe I have so much expired stuff inside my pantry! I drove the kids to soccer Saturday morning. And by golly, was it freezing!"
Put a spin to it. Use big words. Paint a lovely picture! Notice that I said virtually nothing personal. Yet I came across as one who had a blast!
Don't get me started on responding to "How's life?"
01 July 2010
Critics' verdict of Eclipse: With the exception of Stewart, "what there isn't, as usual, is much in the way of good acting."
How Eclipse fared in the U.S. box office ...
A reprint ...
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Vampire romance has become hotter -- if you can believe the story.
That seems to be the consensus by U.S. critics for the third episode of teen vampire saga "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse," which debuted on Wednesday to a record-breaking $30 million (20 million pounds) box office in screenings just after midnight.
North American ticket sales beat predecessor "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" with $26.3 million and are the most for any movie's midnight screenings, according to tracker Hollywood.com Box Office.
Critics said the movie boosted its romantic storyline, but the overall film was not entirely satisfying due to poor acting and execution, according to a consensus of reviews posted Wednesday.
The middle instalment of the film franchise -- Stephenie Meyer's four books are being spread out over five films for maximum profit -- was released in U.S. cinemas this week and again features a love triangle between Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner.)
The third film is "more of the same" from the first two movie, said USA Today, noting the physical attributes of the three co-stars are featured heavily in the film franchise that is wildly popular with the coveted teen market.
"This is definitely the most romantic of the films, although some of these scenes are set in flower-filled meadows that bring to mind feminine-hygiene commercials," the newspaper said.
The New York Times said "Eclipse" was "a more robustly entertaining film than either of its predecessors" with added humour, more violence, "and, true to the film's title, a deeper intimation of darkness."
But it said with the exception of Stewart, "what there isn't, as usual, is much in the way of good acting."
Overall, the film has scored a 50 percent rating among reviews aggregated by website rottentomatoes.com with 53 critics saying positive things and 53 negative.
BOX OFFICE UNFAZED
But reviews may not matter for the teen market who have embraced the first two films as much as they have Meyer's books, and the midnight screenings certainly brought out loyal followers known as "Twi-hards."
The initial "Twilight" sucked $392.5 million from box offices worldwide and its sequel, "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" raked-in $709 million worldwide.
And whether they can act or not, the franchise's stars have profited. Both Pattinson and Stewart were ranked in this week's Forbes' magazine 2010 celebrity power list, earning $17 million and $12 million respectively in 2010. Author Stephenie Meyer made $40 million.
Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times said while part of the movie didn't work, including the special effects, "the audience watched this film rapt with attention" and in summing up, said "The 'Twilight' movies are chaste eroticism to fuel adolescent dreams."
To sum up the movie, many reviews noted the line from the film that seemed to most epitomize the stand-off between Edward and Jacob over their competing affections for Bella. Jacob tells his rival: "Let's face it, I'm hotter than you."
(Reporting by Christine Kearney, editing by Bob Tourtellotte)
A reprint ...
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Vampire romance has become hotter -- if you can believe the story.
That seems to be the consensus by U.S. critics for the third episode of teen vampire saga "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse," which debuted on Wednesday to a record-breaking $30 million (20 million pounds) box office in screenings just after midnight.
North American ticket sales beat predecessor "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" with $26.3 million and are the most for any movie's midnight screenings, according to tracker Hollywood.com Box Office.
Critics said the movie boosted its romantic storyline, but the overall film was not entirely satisfying due to poor acting and execution, according to a consensus of reviews posted Wednesday.
The middle instalment of the film franchise -- Stephenie Meyer's four books are being spread out over five films for maximum profit -- was released in U.S. cinemas this week and again features a love triangle between Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner.)
The third film is "more of the same" from the first two movie, said USA Today, noting the physical attributes of the three co-stars are featured heavily in the film franchise that is wildly popular with the coveted teen market.
"This is definitely the most romantic of the films, although some of these scenes are set in flower-filled meadows that bring to mind feminine-hygiene commercials," the newspaper said.
The New York Times said "Eclipse" was "a more robustly entertaining film than either of its predecessors" with added humour, more violence, "and, true to the film's title, a deeper intimation of darkness."
But it said with the exception of Stewart, "what there isn't, as usual, is much in the way of good acting."
Overall, the film has scored a 50 percent rating among reviews aggregated by website rottentomatoes.com with 53 critics saying positive things and 53 negative.
BOX OFFICE UNFAZED
But reviews may not matter for the teen market who have embraced the first two films as much as they have Meyer's books, and the midnight screenings certainly brought out loyal followers known as "Twi-hards."
The initial "Twilight" sucked $392.5 million from box offices worldwide and its sequel, "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" raked-in $709 million worldwide.
And whether they can act or not, the franchise's stars have profited. Both Pattinson and Stewart were ranked in this week's Forbes' magazine 2010 celebrity power list, earning $17 million and $12 million respectively in 2010. Author Stephenie Meyer made $40 million.
Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times said while part of the movie didn't work, including the special effects, "the audience watched this film rapt with attention" and in summing up, said "The 'Twilight' movies are chaste eroticism to fuel adolescent dreams."
To sum up the movie, many reviews noted the line from the film that seemed to most epitomize the stand-off between Edward and Jacob over their competing affections for Bella. Jacob tells his rival: "Let's face it, I'm hotter than you."
(Reporting by Christine Kearney, editing by Bob Tourtellotte)
28 June 2010
Kids' Camp 101: Mums in panic mode!
My 10 year old is going away for the first time to a 2-night camp at Milson Island, Hawkesbury, this Wednesday. His school sent home a list of recommended things to pack. I kept one eye on that list and was confident that everything was in order.
The Sunday before the big day, we went through the list, and I gulped!
"Gab, we have no insect repellant! And your thermals (long johns) are still hanging in the laundry. But we have to practice packing tonight so I have time to run to the shops for anything we missed."
"Ayayay, mum, you are panicking!"
Indeed I am.
A week before, I told Gab that he must use his sleeping bag and practice folding it every morning. I knew that this will be tricky. It is essential that everything fits in his luggage so nothing is left behind. Packing his sleeping bag turned out to be quite challenging for this kid. I assumed that being our son (Mum and Dad hiked Philippine mountains in their youth), Gab will breeze through this. Wrong. Alas, he complained about his fingers hurting, and how it is not easy to fit the sleeping bag into its bag ... (This mum had to find a bigger bag.)
It suddenly dawned on me how sheltered 2nd Generation migrant kids are. They will never experience "isang kahig isang tuka" or "nabuhay lang kami sa utang buwan buwan". Their lives are so far removed from our own experiences. But I digress ...
As much as I worry, I actually relish the thought of Gab's time away. It will teach him decision-making, looking after his things, and responsibility.
"Just make sure you take a shower everyday whether it is in the morning or at night. And it is OK to re-use any of your clothes if you run out as long as it is not soiled. I did pack enough spare clothing so ... I think you should also use your journal to record your thoughts at night. And please remember to brush your teeth properly!"
"Ayayay, mum!"
I asked Gab what is he looking forward to the most? His answer was: "Time away from Kuya!"
It seemed to him, that his older brother's mission in life is to annoy him everyday!
26 June 2010
About a Will ... revealed!
Disclaimer: This article is not a financial advice. This is just me sharing to the wall! I am simply recalling what, why, and how we did it ... This daunting task is, hopefully, simplified :)
A will is one of those things that most people put in the "too hard" basket. You either procrastinate or you forget about it altogether. But this should not be the case when you have dependents. Especially not so when you have a dependent who will be needing lifetime care (read: a special needs child). Contrary to popular belief, a will is not only for the rich and the famous. You, yes you, will need one too. Not only does a will ensure that your surviving family is looked after according to your wishes; a will also protects the time, energy and resources you spend in building your wealth.
Having said that, in my opinion, a will is not essential if one has straightforward investments. Your superannuation plan and life insurance policy will have nominated beneficiaries, after all.
But what if you have shares, investment properties, businesses and other assets? It is useful to consider how you want your dependents to receive their inheritance. Will they have access to it at age 21 or will they get it later? Will they be needing guardians? Who do you appoint as trustee, etc. The possibilities are endless; the whole exercise can be mind-boggling!
The hubby and I always knew that we needed a will. But like everyone else we found various reasons to defer attending to it. Finally, when last year's U.S. holiday became imminent, we thought, "OK, we can't put this off any longer. Who knows what could happen to us in this trip?"
So let's get cracking and try to dissect this thing called The Will. It might be useful to think of a flowchart when preparing it.
Case 1: One surviving spouse. Each partner draws up his or her will. The surviving spouse receives full inheritance when the other party dies. End of story. The surviving spouse must then update his or her will to take his or her new status into account.
Case 2: Both spouses fail to survive. You will need to appoint a guardian for your children. Ideally, this would be an adult next of kin. If no next of kin is willing or able - this is especially true for migrants with no relatives in their adopted country - then nominate a trusted friend. It is assumed that the guardian will provide care for the minor children. Therefore, this person must share your values as they will be caring for your kids. If you cannot find a trustworthy relative or friend, then the State may become the guardian for your children. The State will make the decisions about foster care, for example.
Appoint an executor. The executor is the person who ensures that all provisions in your will are executed accordingly. This is usually a lawyer. However, if the trustee (see below) is sufficiently familiar with the law he can become the executor too.
Appoint a trustee. The trustee is the entity who will carry out the provisions of your will. These provisions may include the sale of assets, distribution of assets to beneficiaries, settlement of debts (including death expenses), payments to the guardian for the children's food and lodging expenses, providing for the education of the children, etc. Whereas the guardian looks after your children, the trustee, on the other hand, manages your assets. The trustee and the executor can be the same person. However, it is not advisable for the trustee to be the guardian at the same time. For if the left hand - the trustee - gives to the right hand - the guardian, who will ensure that all transactions are at arm's length; i.e. honest? A lawyer or the State (called Public Trustee) can act as trustee in the absence of a trustworthy relative or friend.
Provisions for the children. The hubby and I declared in our will that our children must reach the age of 25 before they can have complete control over inherited assets. We thought that age 25 is the right age when they hopefully will achieve financial maturity. Prior to age 25, the trustee shall issue payments for their maintenance.
Case 3: The whole family fails to survive. Then you will need to specify provisions for other beneficiaries. You may nominate beneficiaries living overseas. You can allocate shares of your total assets to your surviving parents or siblings. You may want to "gift" $100,000 to your mother or father or other siblings, for example. These gifts will be awarded to them after the sale of your assets and payment of your debts.
This is where the right level of life insurance cover becomes essential. If you do not have sufficient cover, the proceeds from the sale of your assets may only be enough to pay off your bank debts; leaving your spouse, your children and other beneficiaries with nothing. A will in such a situation isn't worth the paper it is printed on.
How to get started. In Australia, you can get a booklet for a do-it-yourself will from your post office for a small amount. This is usually sufficient for simple wills. However, when you own a few assets, or you have investments in shares or other instruments or if you have a business, I strongly suggest that you engage a lawyer instead. A lawyer can take you through all the legal issues, answer all your questions and give you peace of mind knowing that you are going about ensuring the future of your dependents in the best manner possible. A fee of $200 to $300 is well worth it, I believe.
Saying this, even the best lawyer in the world cannot possibly draft a will that will cover every eventuality in your life. It is best to keep your will simple and just take comfort in the fact that a will can be changed any time. Who knows, you might win the Lotto or, God forbid, end up in divorce court. You might have a change of heart about your guardian or trustee. It is, therefore, a worthwhile exercise to revisit your will every couple years or as your circumstances or the circumstances of the parties involved in your will change.
So there you are folks, rather boring. But hey, it does feel good to get it out of the way. You can now rest in peace!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)