The Joys of Solitude ... it's not for everyone.

I share a magazine article lifted from SMH's Spectrum.  It is about solitude.  I love this article because it describes my husband's nature so aptly!  I can see clearly our future, our retirement.  He reading a book, and I reading my book at both ends of a comfortable couch.  Our silences will not be pregnant; they will not be heavy.  Our silences will be comfortable and harmonious ... Oh wait, there will be beautiful music of Vivaldi's violin strings playing in the background.

I can't wait!

One's company, two's a crowd

One's company, two's a crowd Author: Phil Daoust Date: 20/02/2010 Words: 2418 Source: SMH         Publication: Sydney Morning Herald Section: Spectrum Page: 12

There's no idle chatter, no white noise and no need to get out of your pyjamas. Phil Daoust extols the virtues of seclusion. YOU don't get many casual visitors where I live. Home is down a dirt track, three kilometres from the nearest village. The neighbours are five minutes' walk away, and when the woods are in leaf you can't see another building. By day you may hear a chainsaw in the distance; by night only the deer barking. I'm on my own here, if you don't count the cat, and right now it's a week since I saw another human. But it's a beautiful spot, in a lovely bit of France, and every now and again a rambler will find his way to it. If I'm outside, and don't have time to hide, his first remark will usually be: "This is a little bit of heaven." I'll feel a little bashful, as if I somehow shaped this world with my own talented hands, and then he'll say: "Mind you, I could never live here."

Kidchat #9: ... disgraceful!

One Sunday morning, I was reading a magazine article in Sunday Life about mums of various ages getting a tatoo. Why do women do it?

"So why do grown women do it? Often, as a way to reclaim something of yourself or, possibly, an early life crisis. The last grasp at cool."

Mum: "Hey Gab, what do you think about mum getting a tattoo?"

Gab (10 year old son): "Mum, that is disgraceful!"

Mum: "What?? Why is that? And where is this word coming from? Have you heard it from someone?"

Gab: "Tattoos are disgraceful to the body that God gave you."

Mum: "But, sweetheart, Angelina Jolie has one". Mmm, I don't think my son cares about Angelina. "It can be a work of art if Mama picks a really nice design. Besides, I decided that I will do things this year. This will be a 'Me Year' or even a 'Me Decade'. It was all about you and kuya (older brother) in the past decade!"

Gab: "Mommy is lovely the way she is. She just needs to lose some weight!"

Ugh! My kids do keep me grounded, can you believe it? I have a feeling that the table is slowly turning ... :)  It's the end of my tatts aspirations!

Musings #81: What does "life begins at 40" really mean?

Warning: Some words may offend the prude eyes and ears
Ideally, for women only. But men can read on to ‘understand’ their women!

2009 marks my “pushing forty”. Nope I am not quite there yet as I am one year younger than my batch mates. Yet my frame of mind has turned a corner.

My moment of clarity: Forty years old is the average age when one’s kids are around 10-12 years old. Children are pretty much low maintenance from then on.

Therefore, we mums can finally start listening to our own needs. Ten years is long enough for putting our lives on hold after all.

Here is what happened to me “before forty”:
- family life came first above all else;
- sleep deprivation for at least a decade (depending on how many kids you have). Oh, those endless parade of lunch boxes you had to prepare the night before or early next morning;
- my body clock waking me up in the dead of the night so that I can check if the kids are warm enough or haven’t kicked their blankets to the floor (while the partner merrily sleeps on);
- no such thing as sleeping in, as either the kids come sneaking into your bed; or your body clock is so used to 6am awakenings - weekends, public holidays, every single day! there, there, i am not trying to scare off mum-to-be's;
- finding yourself having a discussion about Bionicle with a little one when you are in the shower (privacy ... gone!) (Trivia: Australian houses do not have locks in bedrooms and bathrooms for safety reasons, ie. fire, etc.);
- a quickie under the doona (aka blanket) is the order of the day lest a kid comes creeping in (do i see some nodding there?);
- shopping ... what shopping? I have not shopped for myself for years. I always find myself making a beeline to boys' wear and toys in the past decade. My meaning of shopping is quick and limited to essentials ... no time for browsing with 'i am tired, mum' cries trailing behind you. I envy my girlfriends whose wardrobe is ... well, full!

At forty, things can and will change (there’s hope).

The kids will be hitting ten and above. They now understand that mum and dad are not at their beck and call. All of a sudden, they actually comprehend that one should wait for a “come in” after knocking on a door instead of just barging in. Homework is completed independently. Woohoo!

So suddenly I am finding time in my hands ... what have i done so far?

I had highlights done to my hair (a first!).
I had my nails coloured (the last time was at my wedding).
I bought myself a pair of two-inch high heels. Oh, and it came with a matching handbag.
I bought a new dress (even if I had nowhere to go).

So ladies, let yourself go in your forties. Do things you haven’t done before or have stopped doing. Buy that sexy lingerie ... perhaps now you will be brave enough for that brazilian wax you've always wondered about (gasp!).

Midlife crisis in another ten years, you say? Isn't that when the kids finally move out of the house? Mmmm that brings on new possibilities ...